Laws of pornography
Not to be confused with the Laws of Hentai. #All women wear high heels to bed. #Men are never impotent. #When "going down" on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. #If a woman gets caught masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment; instead she will insist he have sex with her. #Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. #Women are indifferent as to whether they get it in the mouth, in the vagina or up the ass. #Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. #Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. #WOMEN SCREAM AND GRAB THE MAN'S ASS CLOSER TOWARDS THEM WHEN THEY'RE GOING TO CUM, causing more moaning. #Women will always orgasm when men do. #All women are noisy cummers; often they will announce when it is happening and give a running commentary. #Those tits are real. Period. #A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's ass. Or face. Spanking is also a turn-on. #Men must always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. #Women don't have the physical capability to spit out cum. They can only transfer it to another woman. #If there are two men present, they must high five each other. #Double penetration makes women smile. #Asian men don't exist, but their chicks are more than willing to have a few orgasms with you. #If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't beat you to death if you shove your penis in his girlfriend's mouth. #Only fetish porn has a plot. #When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. #Nurses tend to suck patients' cocks as an exam method. #Nuns are always wild and eager for sex. #Men always pull out, and can hold until the money shot. #When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before joining both of you. #Women never have headaches or periods. #When a woman is sucking off a man, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it", lest she forget what she is doing. #Anuses are perpetually clean. #Everyone else's penis is bigger than yours. #Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a penis there. #When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. #A penis joke is an appropriate lead-in to the so-called "nasty". #Geeks never have to beg. #Every girl on the planet is at least bi. #Pubic hair is a myth. #Men always wear watches. #Starring in porn is the only time a women shouldn't be restricted to the kitchen. #The phrases: "oh yeah" or "yes" must said at least eleven times. #Swearing is a constant. #There's never an awkward moment during sex (e.g. the man wouldn't yell out "BEN AND JERRY'S ICE CREAM IS THE BEST!") #Women are always ravishingly horny, to the point that they're banging random visitors. #Your friend's mom has a huge crush on you and has caught you masturbating, only to go masturbate herself. #Only men with tattoos on their biceps can have sex. #If you offer them enough money, all women are willing to have sex. #There is no such thing as natural finger nails. #All stewardesses want any guys dick in any hole, ALL the time. #Feet, although infinitely disgusting, do turn some people on. #The only thing women think about during sex is the tasty cum they get to eat afterwards. #The man always decides on the position, no objections. #Girls called Cytherea will always cum. No exceptions. #Women can have a orgasm by just taking off their clothes and by rubbing their hands on their skin. #Men never care if another guy has just came in there; every hole's a goal. #If your penis is seven inches, or over in length pubic hair is no longer a problem. #Best friends are always lesbians for each other. Category:Laws